I was going to say, “I hate to complain” but then I realized that wasn’t true. Sometimes I love to complain. Complaining is the motivator for change. The problem is to complain and then do nothing more. I think a complaint should be a personal call to action. I am talking about my complaints which by their very nature of being mine, are perfectly justified. I can’t claim that about OPC (other peoples complaints)…
I have personally discovered that there are almost always an alternative for the things that annoy me. I don’t always want or like the alternative, but I know it exists. Its like complaining about my terrible life, I can always end it. No… I am not really going to take that alternative. Just illustrating a severe alternative. By the way, my life is NOT terrible.
I can complain about pot holes in the road. If I complain to myself or my spouse, that isn’t going to fix the pot holes. I could pick up a shovel and fix them myself. If it was my private road then that makes sense. If it a public road, I could still do it myself, but that may not be a good solution. Complaints have to be targeted to the folks that have the ability to create change. Otherwise it is just a lot of noise coming out of my mind and mouth.
Most of the time I am not “out to change the whole world” with my complaints. Life is too short for me to be that kind of activist. Most of the time I only want to change the experience that has created my reason to complain.
Rather than enjoy the weather, I could complain about the cold and winter snow in Ohio. I can move to Texas where there is little of that to complain about. But then, what little there is may still raise a complaint. So move farther south…
If I complain about quality of brand X peanut butter, My complaint is mostly to inform others of my opinion of the product. Most reasonable makers of things want to know too. If enough voices agree and also complain, then perhaps Brand X will change its product. But where I live, in a land of choice and plenty, the real solution for me is to spend my money on a brand I like. That is what free enterprise is all about. It’s called, “putting your money where your mouth is.”
That is not a literal statement. It means back up what I say with appropriate action. If I don’t like brand X then I don’t eat it. I make a reasonable and appropriate change within my personal sphere of freedom of choice. A fanatical action like smashing every jar of brand X I can find is not an appropriate to resolve my complaint.
Sometime there is no choice. It’s a fact of life. The point then, is that constant complaining is not going to change an unalterable fact of life. Complaining can be “worn out” if it used without expectation or ability of change.
Complaining about my peripheral neuropathy to everyone around is not going to change the fact of life I have it. I find ways to work around the limitations without complaint. I have the power of how hard or how far I push my limitations. If I over do it, I know what I have to endure. No one to blame but myself. The people I love already know and don’t need to hear me complain.
A good life requires managing the things you can change and knowing the things that you can not change. I am always encourage by the vast number of things, conditions and experiences I can change. An urge to complain is my indication to investigate what I can actually do about it.
If I need help I can ask or look for it. I feel a complaint is not a good substitute for a request.
“I can’t find the dang car keys, they’re hiding!”, is a statement that sounds like a complaint. “What did you do with them?”, is definitely an accusation aimed at others. Tis k…Tis k…
“Hon… Do you know where the keys are?” is a request for help. Oh, if life was only so perfect… and I could practice it so well… Ha!